sooooo......like we went to Phouse AGAIN! it was great, sat night i met a boy named Gordon, yea he's a looker alright. we danced then and i got his number n stuff and we danced again last night. it got so fuckin' hot, and not just in temp. dude, SO HOT. i really wanna get to kno him better and don't want it to just be a club thing.  but yea, so much shit went on last night i can't explain it all. but i had soooo much fun.

i was leaving the Phouse and i was thirsty so i stopped at the shady gas station down the street...omg was that a bad idea. um, not to be racist but the store was full of black people and u can tell that guy at the counter didn't feel too comfortable....i was ok, but like, they were REALLY rude and joking about pulling a gun on the guy cuz he didn't have a certain type of cigar....i was thinking "oh shit, i don't wanna die now, i'm in too good of a mood!" and i've always thought of how i wanna die, i figured i'd be shot in the line of duty, but well, i'm not gonna be a cop anymore...i dunno i hope that day doesn't come anytime soon!

then i was hauling ass home and decided to go the back way through Winter Garden and through Montverde, Blackstill road....i was hauling ass, i love that road doing 70 around the corners hell yes!

i got home at like 3:30 cuz we left early. i guess everybody just stuck around until Gordon left so i could stay with him because as soon as he left Chris was like "we're gonna go"

i'm gonna so get caught up in my emotions over all this shit, so i just need to stop thinking bout this and hang out with my kel kel and ereo tonight. i cannot belive i kissed Gordon. it's not a bad thing cuz it was really hot, it's just.....i never kiss people until i kno i really like them (i do like him, but barely know him) and i just get so caught up in everything and usually things never work out....take tony for instance, who btw moved back south. and i guess if things don't work out, Gordon has really helped me clear my head and heal my wounds. the way he was holding me in the club, i mean holding me tight. (i knew he wanted me  ) OH YEA!

ok laundry time!

ok, this fuckin sux ass

we hung out with tony.......and like he says he only wanted to be friends but on the way down to the car he put his arm around my back and then he hugged and kissed me...........now he says he still doesn't want a relationship......i'm so torn apart. why does this shit always happen to me?! i'm so fuckin' hurt, i like him so much, why doesn't he like me? it's like he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore online or on the phone. i just don't know seriously. i just don't know.

so ok some things have happened.........i'm moving in with my granny....there's this really sweet boy named Tony who lives in Ocala who i like talking to, and he drinks, and i just really don't like that....who knows?....i hate target, they can shove their red cards up their ass....i'm looking for another job and before i leave i'm cussing out Lillian, back stabbing bitch.....fuckin' puertorican! dayum, she is such a bitch dude freal!

um, i dunno, i really hate being lonely. and all i do is think bout me with somebody....even like laying in my bed, i always imagine somebody there with me holding me....or when it's raining outside, or when i'm watching a movie, i want somebody to cuddle with. or when i feel upset, i just want somebody there to listen to me, and hold me to reassure me. i'm tired of being this way and i dunno why nobody wants to date me?? I'M THE SHIT!

so the other night me kelly and arienne were driving around UCF and sorta go lost (this was last night actually) and we went down this back road behind some buildings to turn around and there was this cop sitting in the parking lot, we thought nobody was in it and we got closer and there was a cop sitting there starring at us (there were no lights in the parking lot, it was pitch black) so kelly does a total loop around the cop's car as he's sitting in it starring at us and we're starring at him and we just then drive off...CRACKED MY ASS UP! omg it was so hilarious, i almost threw up laughing.

and there's this cute guy George....he's cute.

ok i have nothing, bye